My sense that these were common concerns led me to write The Language Wars.
The book's subtitle is "A history of proper English". I was keen for "proper" to be printed in italics, to make it clear that I was questioning the very notion of "proper"-ness. I'm not of the "anything goes" school, but, as I say in the book, "The history of prescriptions about English ... is in part a history of bogus rules, superstitions, half-baked logic, groaningly unhelpful lists, baffling abstract statements, false classifications, contemptuous insiderism and educational malfeasance."
Nevertheless I often find myself invited, by broadcasters or festival programmers, to lay down the law about what constitutes correctness. That really isn't my bag. From what I can make out, I'd have earned a lot more money if it were.